第19章 The Thing Kept For The End

On the twentieth Avelin Cindermill woke at the fourth hour and did not decide to wake. Not deciding was the spending. The spending was the metal. The metal had stopped on the twenty-second of the second month. The stopping was twelve days. The twelve days were the walking and the bread and the coal and the stair and the boy in the weir and the not going and the two apples and the jar and the list and the ninth line and the nothing and the rolls and the fifth sentence and the not signing. Not signing was the short book. The short book was over. The over was the twenty-second of the second month. The twenty-second was twelve days before the nineteenth of the third month. The twelve days were hers. She stood at the window with the morning coming and she looked out at the long street. The long street was going on. The Yard was on the long street. The Yard was quiet. The foundry was closed. The roll was closed. The two men had no place. The check-walk would be closed at the end of the month. Trenn would have nothing to do with the foundry. Trenn would not ask. Nyall would not ask. Mabry was walking the long street. Halbert was walking the long street. The two walkers were walking. The walking was the not stopping. The not stopping was the not signing. She went to the table. She put her hand flat on the wood. She did not read the kitchen. She did not weigh the bread. She did not reach for the salt. She picked up the salt with her hand and she put it on the bread with her hand and she ate the bread with her hand, and the bread was the bread. Nyall came in at the seventh hour with the coal and the bread and no apples, because the jar was empty and the jar was empty and the empty was the rolls. "The jar is empty," Nyall said. "The jar is empty." "Then there are no apples." "There are no apples." "And the apples were the thing you had kept for the end." "The apples were the thing I had kept for the end." "And you have kept nothing for the end." "I have kept nothing for the end." "And nothing is the ninth line." "Nothing is the ninth line." "And the ninth line is the date." "The ninth line is the date." "And the date is the nineteenth of the third month." "The date is the nineteenth of the third month." "And the nineteenth of the third month is over." "The nineteenth of the third month is over." "And you are here on the twentieth." "I am here on the twentieth." "And the rolls wrote you at the first hour of the nineteenth." "The rolls wrote me at the first hour of the nineteenth." "And the rolls did not send a man." "The rolls did not send a man." "And the rolls did not send a letter." "The rolls did not send a letter." "And the rolls did not come to the step." "The rolls did not come to the step." "And the rolls did not ask." "The rolls did not ask." "And the rolls did not read back." "The rolls did not read back." "And the rolls did not take the fifth sentence from you." "The rolls did not take the fifth sentence from me." "And the fifth sentence is in the rolls." "The fifth sentence is in the rolls." "And the rolls will keep it forever." "The rolls keep it forever." "And the fifth sentence is under the standing of 1174." "The fifth sentence is under the standing of 1174." "And the 1174 is on my arm." "The 1174 is on your arm." "And the 1174 is not zero." "The 1174 is not zero." "And the not zero is the thing." "The not zero is the thing." "And the thing is the kept." "The thing is the kept." "And the kept is the not spending." "The kept is the not spending." "And the not spending is the short book." "The not spending is the short book." "And the short book is over." "And the short book is over." Nyall sat down at the table with her hands on her lap and her basket on the step, and she did not ask, and she did not look at the arm, and she looked at the bread, and the bread was the bread. "Two hundred and forty Hours," Nyall said. "That is the thing the rolls took without your consent. That is the thing the rolls kept in the rolls. That is the thing the rolls did not read back. That is the thing you have not signed. That is the thing you have kept for the end. That is the thing you did not spend on the foundry and did not spend on the read and did not spend on the boy in the weir and did not spend on the stair and did not spend on the ladder and did not spend on the apples and did not spend on the rail, and that is the thing you have kept, and the kept is two hundred and forty Hours, and the two hundred and forty Hours are two days and six hours, and the two days and six hours are the thing you have kept for the end of yourself, and the end of yourself is the twenty-second of the second month, and the twenty-second of the second month was twelve days ago, and the twelve days are the kept, and the kept is yours." "I have kept it," Avelin said. "You have kept it." "Then I have kept a little of myself for the end." "You have kept a little of yourself for the end." "And the little is two hundred and forty Hours." "The little is two hundred and forty Hours." "And the two hundred and forty Hours are in the rolls." "The two hundred and forty Hours are in the rolls." "And the rolls will keep them forever." "The rolls will keep them forever." "And the keeping is the not reading back." "The keeping is the not reading back." "And the not reading back is the keeping." "And the not reading back is the keeping." "And the keeping is the rolls." "And the keeping is the rolls." "And the rolls are wrong." "And the rolls are wrong." "And the wrong is 1174." "And the wrong is 1174." "And the 1174 is on my arm." "And the 1174 is on your arm." "And my arm is under my sleeve." "And your arm is under your sleeve." "And my sleeve is buttoned." "And your sleeve is buttoned." "And my button is the button of my coat." "And your button is the button of your coat." "And my coat is the coat I put on in the fourth hour." "And your coat is the coat you put on in the fourth hour." "And the fourth hour is the hour I woke." "And the fourth hour is the hour you woke." "And the waking is the thing." "And the waking is the thing." "And the thing is the kept." "And the thing is the kept." "And the kept is the little of myself for the end." "And the kept is the little of yourself for the end." "And the end is the twenty-second of the second month." "And the end is the twenty-second of the second month." "And the twenty-second of the second month was twelve days ago." "And the twenty-second of the second month was twelve days ago." "And I am here on the twentieth." "And you are here on the twentieth." "And the rolls wrote me at the first hour of the nineteenth." "And the rolls wrote you at the first hour of the nineteenth." "And I did not sign." "And you did not sign." "And the not signing is the kept." "And the not signing is the kept." "And the kept is the little." "And the kept is the little." "And the little is the end." "And the little is the end." "And the end is mine." "And the end is yours." "And the mine is the not signing." "And the yours is the not signing." "And the not signing is the short book." "And the not signing is the short book." "And the short book is the only book in Draymoor that has no cost written on it." "And the short book is the only book in Draymoor that has no cost written on it." "And the no cost is the not paying." "And the no cost is the not paying." "And the not paying is the kept." "And the not paying is the kept." "And the kept is the little." "And the kept is the little." "And the little is the end." "And the little is the end." "And the end is the twentieth." "And the end is the twentieth." "And the twentieth is over." "And the twentieth is over." They sat at the table with the morning coming through the cloth. The step was dry. The coal was on the step. The bread was in the drawer. The jar was empty. The list was on the table. The ninth line was empty. The empty was the end. The end was the kept. The kept was the little. The little was the not signing. Not signing was the short book. The short book was the only book in Draymoor that had no cost written on it. No cost was not paying. Not paying was the thing Avelin Cindermill had decided to do on the first day of the fifteen. The deciding was the spending. The spending had stopped. The stopping was the rolls. The rolls were wrong. The wrong was 1174. The 1174 was on the arm. The arm was under the sleeve. The sleeve was buttoned. The button was the button of her coat. The coat was the one she had put on in the fourth hour. The fourth hour was the hour she had woken. The kept was the little of herself for the end. ---